Things have been so busy around our shop these days that we haven't gotten to pull anyone into the old Brand Garage for an overhaul lately. Sure, we’re still busy, but we can’t let that hold us back. In fact, what we are going to do right here is create a brand and pack it with a challenge.

So let’s roll up our sleeves and get to some creative crankin’.
  
College sports are big business. Seriously big. And nothing screams ‘collegiate competition’ more than the ubiquitous team mascot, who is often a hand-me-down from ancient times when things were so different as to be unrecognizable. Yet, that is the beauty of college sports: The strange traditions, legends and legacies. And there are plenty. Auburn is the Tigers and the War Eagles. Virginia Tech is the Hokies, a nebulous bird of dubious heritage and no small amount of confusion even to the Hokies themselves.

Yet in searching through this world of odd customs and weird team names, it has come to our attention that there are no major college sports teams called “Fire Ants.” That amazes us. So we got to thinking. What beast inspires more fear in the Deep South than the tiny red ant with the big bite? Folks in these parts are more afraid of fire ants than pit bulls or hippies. Seems like the perfect mascot for a college sports team, right? We think so.

We talked to friends. We interviewed some college experts. We talked to sports nuts. We even wrote a blog about it: (http://www.bigriveradvertising.com/bythecampfire-100406-fireants.asp)
  
Here's our deal: We're looking for a college team to step up and take on the fiery little devil as a mascot. We'll even help you. There are 69 colleges out there with no mascot. And there are dozens with mascots so lame as to shame mascotdom. The fire ant is due.

FIRE ANT BRAND GARAGE

GS: Mississippi's Mighty Fightin' Fire Ants, huh?  That's good stuff. It does make one wonder just what went through the collegiate committee minds that came up with such spirit-stirring, fear-inducing names as The Flying Queens, Geoducks, or, not kidding, the Banana Slugs. It seems some schools have underestimated the pride-provoking powers of the well-named mascot, a fierce and feisty figure to rally the troops and incite the crowds, and provide the team garb and gear: Something that says, “You mess with us and you're in for a world of hurt.” The Fire Ant would do that job quickly.
  
TT: And in a day when merchandising is king, Ivy League or not, creating a memorable and marketable symbol of rebel-rousing pride is more than good for sports fans, it's good for the image of the university itself.  Check out The Michelin Man, Tony the Tiger, Mario, Mr. Clean, The Jolly Green Giant. Corporations spend millions to create energetic and inspiring mascots as ambassadors of company values to rally consumers to their cause. And what is a college if not a corporation of higher education?
  
GS: It does strike me as strange that some university mascots have nothing to do with their name.  I went to the University of Cincinnati, where the mere mention of "Bearcats" strikes fear and terror in the hearts of competition (never mind the fact that our mascot looks nothing like a real bearcat, which itself resembles neither a bear nor a cat, nor does it really induce panic and dread). But isn't your alma mater's team name and school mascot even a bit more disconnected?
    
TT:  Yup. The Crimson Tide. But the mascot is a red elephant. Nobody cares. Fans just hand over their hard-earned jack for anything with crimson or a hounds tooth design. The income alone from the sales of ‘mascoty’ items is mind-boggling (so much so, the university is suing one of it’s alumni who has painted many traditional images once embraced by the Tide – money doeth divide brothers, indeed). Besides the Crimson Tide imagery and the red elephant, deceased former Coach, Paul “Bear” Bryant is becoming a Colonel Sanders-ish mascot as well, with thousands wearing his famous hounds tooth hat at games. Having gone to Alabama, I can tell you the Crimson Tide makes more than a few bucks on sports paraphernalia. They’re dancing in the end zone nonstop with a big roll of green.

GS: And yet the associations make no sense. Elephants, Red ‘Tiders’ and “Bears,” oh my!
  
TT: With that kind of power, fire ants strike as a natural fit for mascot fame and fortune, literally! A fearful competitor, the fire ant is capable of doing more than just running up the legs of the opposing teams and chomping down on the good parts. The Fire Ants could burrow into the minds and hearts of a school in need of more than just a makeover. The Fire Ant just might be an avid fan’s best friend… and for a college ravenous for merchandising moolah.
  
So why not create a seriously cool Fire Ant mascot–logo, character and all? Football helmets could look like a fierce Fire Ant's head and uniforms could be burning red, head-to-toe. The cheerleaders might wear ANTennae. As the band plays a rousing ANThem,  the team rushes the field or gym from a pyrotechnics-spewing ant mound. A packed stadium filled with angry Fire Ants fans is a sight indeed. ESPN, Thursday night, be there. The possibilities are endless.
  
GS: That gets me to pondering imagery. Sometimes you just gotta break out the pens and markers and start thinkin' and inkin'. For colleges, I like mascots that are more caricature and fun than realistic renditions. Something about Notre Dame’s "Fightin' Irish" leprechaun that just screams collegiate sports. When you see that little feisty, little, fist-pumping maniac take the field, you know your in for a real nose-breakin' knee-scrapper!  Here’s a few fast firey ideas:
  

 
TT: There you go. I can see them now, a horde of fiery-red gridironers, pouring onto a green field from an end zone “anthill.” Mascoted-mandibles are snapping and helmets glowing with the crazed fire ant logo as Cheerleaders wiggle their antennae, egging the crowd into a victory-bitten frenzy. Even the leaves turn red. That is real college sporting spirit. And equally real is the cash pouring into the college’s coffers of whoever has the guts and brains to work the angle on the old mascot money trail.
   
GS: Amen. Seeing red might not be so bad after all – especially when it can lead to a lot of green!  So if you’re reading this and you have the collegiate power to take one of these conceptual insect hombres and go for extra yardage, we want to hear from you. 

Big R's Brand Garage will be happy to discuss your brand. Just send us your product or e-mail Terry Taylor or Geoff Stone.

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Opinions expressed here and in any corresponding comments are the personal opinions of the original authors, not necessarily of Big River and may not have been reviewed in advance by Big River.